It was on the last day of training. I had just come back into the meeting room, and was sitting down waiting for the instructor to resume teaching. About 1 minute into her session, I noticed a strange man peering over at me through one of the doors that someone had left propped open. I knew he wasn’t in our class but I could tell by the huge smile on his face that he liked what he saw. He was tall, handsome, and well-dressed. I smiled back to let him know I was flattered but quickly directed my attention back to the instructor. I figured this guy would get the hint that I was busy, and would go on about his business.
WRONG! To my surprise, this man walks right INTO the classroom, right up to my table, and slips me his business card. It happened so fast that I was stunned for a second, but my shock quickly turned to complete amusement as I thought to myself how this man held absolutely NO reservation with his interest, even if it meant intruding into a class he had NO business in. My classmate and I laughed about it for the rest of the day, though she didn’t hesitate to let me know that she would call him, if I didn’t.
Which leads me to my next thought about the differences between men and women. Now, I’m no ugly ducking and I take pride in my appearance, so I’m often approached by members of the opposite sex. Sure it’s great to have plenty of options at your finger tips however, the thought of ME approaching a man used to be a foreign thing. Note that I said “foreign”, not out of the question. I just didn’t know how to go about doing it for a very long time. God forbid I come off looking desperate because we all know there is that stigma associated with women who go after men.
At any rate, I still don’t have much experience in this area. In fact, I’ve only approached one man in my life, and that was only after a very long time (a couple of months) of me sizing him up. Our meeting led to a very passionate relationship though it was extremely short-lived. I have no regrets yet since that time no one has sparked my interest enough for me to want to make the first move. I may be wrong when I say this, but I think a lot of women are, well….reserved, when it comes to making the first move. Sure there are exceptions to the rule (my classmate above) but generally most women that I know prefer for a man to partake in the art of chivalry (or at least pretend like he knows a little something about it). We like it when we are approached in a respectful manner. We like it when a man initiates the first call, and of course when he opens the door for us. If not, he will quickly lose points as we are analyzing a man’s every move from the moment he says “Hello, gorgeous”. What he does after that will make or break him.
Men on the other hand are very often driven by visuals (and that thing in their pants). If they see something they like, they go after it, and won’t stop until they’ve conquered it. The guy at my training is a perfect example. He spotted me, liked what he saw and moved in. There was no sizing me up, no conversation, no indication from me that I was even interested. I could have been married. I could have been missing teeth or even had bad breath but I guess he figured he would take his chances. There was another man who approached me at the Food Truck event I attended a few weeks ago, who literally handed me a crumpled up piece of napkin without uttering a word. Thinking his behavior was completely bizarre, I blurted out loud, “What are you giving me this for?”. He then explained that his number was inside and asked me to call him. As ridiculous as his whole approach was, I still have to give him some credit for having the guts to do that! I mean who still writes their telephone number on pieces of paper? Of course my girlfriends and I had a field day with him as soon as he walked away. Was he slightly delusional? Yes! But certainly not lacking confidence.
So in this regard, I truly envy men. I wish I could be more of a risk taker like that. Who knows, maybe I would have met Mr. Right by now :)
What are your thoughts on the matter? Do you believe the rules of chivalry are dead? Should both men and women just go after who they want?